So, why are we having this conversation about sexual education, you ask?

Why the blog?

And what should I be writing about on my first post?

These were some of the questions I thought about as I sat to write this on my desk. I thought I would be super savvy by looking up search engine data to see what parents were searching for when researching the word ‘sex’ and ‘sexual education’. I was hoping to find the top questions to inform my blog posts and curate an amazing community who could find me online…Right?

Wrong!

My keyword research results were super disappointing (seems like most people are looking up the word ‘sex’ to find out if the next series of the “Sex Education” show will be airing, or they were looking up pornography. Ouch).

From the information that WAS available to me, I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed by the formal and factual information created by government departments (which certainly has its place!), and a VERY small group of sexual educators showcasing the programs they have on offer.

Also, none of them looked anything like me.

I could not find ONE person in Australia speaking exclusively about prevention strategies, teacher resources, school based programs or services that speak to families raising children from culturally diverse and faith backgrounds.

Zero. Nada. Zilch.

Having said that, there does seem to be some rumblings at Australia’s Monash University under the leadership of Professor Fida Sanjakdar to develop Muslim-friendly sexuality-based education for schools in Australia. While that is great news, I think it just goes to show how *badly* sexual education needs a more culturally relevant element that makes parenting and educating our children easier.

Here are top three reasons I think we need to culturally shake up the space in sexual education.

1. Sexual education *needs more* diversity:

I think we need to be moving away from just acknowledging and tolerating diversity and move towards facilitating cohesion and respect of diverse views. It means internalising that a ‘one size fits all’ approach doesn’t really address the unique cultural considerations of our communities. So many of us have that many hyphenated identities these days that when compared to our current sexual education available for consumption, it's bland…in other words, it requires dusting for more relevance.

2. Culturally adaptive sexual education is more effective:

My professional experiences have shown that people are more likely to engage with and internalize information that resonates with their cultural background. I’m talking about adaptation that is actually relatable. I recall attending a parent seminar on teaching children about personal boundaries. One of the parents asked the educator how to manage their in-laws crossing a child’s physical boundaries in the context of public affection. The educator suggested the grandparents could be told “we are teaching our child boundaries, so if our child says don’t kiss me, we have to respect that.”

I mean, I totally understood the point the educator was making, but judging from the look on the parent’s face, the suggestion seemed to go down like a lead balloon. Sure, we need to be assertive when it comes to boundary setting but I was left wondering if there was an alternative response that could have been offered to the family in a way that brings everyone on board rather than alienate them, including the grandparents. Culture, language, communication skills are all incredibly intertwined and many of the sexual education programs I see tend to forget that.

3. The current sexual education on offer is not helpful.

99% of the educational content online for how to navigate sexual conversations are not actually helpful because they are so generalized. I’m sure you have seen the guidelines “provide age appropriate information” or “encourage open and honest conversations” … *yawn* To me, that type of advice can be incredibly unhelpful, because it’s what I call a common sense post. Because those tips are valid. But also... it’s kinda generic. Most of us know already how to do things in theory, but we don’t know how to do them in practice. This means that while we know that we should provide our children with age-appropriate information, we just don’t know what words to use or where and how to start the conversation.

If you’re reading all of this and nodding your head, then you might be interested in all the interesting and wonderful insights I've been waiting so long to share with you.

So grab some popcorn and get comfortable: What topics do you wish were covered in sexual education that reflected the cultural nuances of your family?

I'd love to hear from you.