In a world full of social media, smart phones and the allure of immediate gratification, I’ve noticed a transformation in attitudes towards topics around sexual education. Regardless of culture or creed, sexual health is a big deal and it impacts, well, everyone.
Cutting edge research also suggests some powerful truths – that the best place to start a child’s sexual education is right at home and guided by none other than… you guessed it! The parents. It suggests that children engaging in talks about sexual education more openly in safe spaces. They are more likely to make informed decisions, delay their sexual activity and make responsible choices. It’s a win-win situation, yay!
I suppose some of you may be nodding along but also wondering, “How do I even begin?" And “Why is this necessary?” – You’re in for some valuable insights.
1. Take up space as your children’s primary care giver.
Parents are the number ONE figure to teach their children about the world, including what is considered “normal”. As an educator and psychologist, I often get asked about protecting children from predators. Here's the unexpected answer – it's not the child's responsibility to recognize a predator. It's your role as a parent to instill norms within your home. If you've done this effectively, your children are likely to turn to you if they feel someone has treated them inappropriately.
2. Embrace your cultural contributions.
Our cultural beliefs influence our attitudes as parents towards sex. In fact, you've probably already started weaving stories, traditions, and values into your discussions with your children in your daily lives. Whether it's playing house with dolls, attending family weddings, or participating in 'coming of age' ceremonies, the context is always present. It’s also a fantastic space for you (as the parent) to teach your child the power of nuance. Using proper names in your language for body anatomy, discussing the social components of dating, courting, marriage and family celebrations according to your culture are also great ways to teach your child about sexual development in appropriate ways.
3. Normalising the chats
Breaking taboos doesn't mean turning family time into an awkward sex education class. It's about gradually normalizing the foundations of open conversations. Just like making an omelet with eggs, start with the essential ingredients of a conversation step by step. If you can, share a laugh, spill a funny story – make it natural. Let your kids know it's perfectly okay to discuss bodies, growth, social connections, and problem-solving in the context of sexual education without feeling weird. They need to know you are sharing from a place of wanting to share, rather than a place of telling them off or wanting to “extract” information: in that sense, children no matter what their age, can have an even sharper radar than you!
If you’re still nervous and curious about how you might approach sexual conversations with your children, teens or bubs, you might want to save yourself a seat at my Essential Insights Webinar. You can join me in the next live conversation where I share all the ways you can be an insightful resource for your children in a way that celebrates your cultural perspectives and gives you the confidence boost you might be looking for.
You've got this!
